Pregnancy

Stuff No One Tells You

This entry is brought to you by the sh*t no one tells you about pregnancy.

I mean, you get told that your boobs are going to get bigger, that you’re likely going to get morning sickness, that it’s not all fun and games.

But no one tells you that you’re going to get more flatulent at the time that your nose kicks into “high sniffer” alert. So everytime you pass wind, you’re killing yourself with a toxic cloud.
Or leukorrhea (leucorrhoea in the UK). Seriously. I wish someone had told me that I would possibly have the same feeling as when ovulation hitsĀ all the freaking time. Yay for crotch-snot. NOT.

No one mentions that the swelling, well, the swelling can cut nerves pathways down and give you carpal tunnel. Yeah. I haven’t had this much pain since I was typing 16 hour days in high school. And that was before the internet folks. BEFORE!

I figure at this rate, I’ll have enough to publish a book about my experience by the time this child is born.
So hang tight for another trimester’s installment of “Sh*t they didn’t tell me!”